Sunday, August 3, 2014

Birds at Large: Commercials - August 2014

I've noticed a couple birds in commercials recently.  Time to tell you how crappy they all are.

Mountain Dew - Dale Earnhardt Jr. Call

Just a couple of dudes out duck hunting.  One guy blows his duck call indiscriminately and gets no response.  Frustrating!  His hunt-bro has other plans.  He breaks out his gas-spewing Dale Call and gives is a rev.  Out of nowhere, Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s car plows into the swamp!  It's a clear violation of the Clean Water Act, but don't worry about that, he does a bunch of donuts!  It'd be funny if they just shot him.

When Dale's car comes careening into the swamp he destroys the lives of a ton of birds, who fly like crazy to avoid being smashed to death.  The birds are all flying blurs and I don't know what kind of birds they are, sorry.

A couple of moments later, though, the dudes are shown rippin' Dew and talking about how cool they are.  There are tons of birds around now (but they're not shooting any?  These guys are not good hunters).

Wait what the shit?  Domestic Muscovy?  Black Swans?  Where are you hunting, the petting zoo?  These guys are NOT good hunters.  I see some Mallards in there too.

This video has nearly 4.5 million views on YouTube.

Verizon - "Up and Away" Commercial

A dude has covered himself in bird seed and is standing out on his patio, while his wife surfs the internet.  Married life, am I right?? But seriously, this dude is pretty cool.  I would do that.  Plus, it works!

A dove!  Looks too light to be a Eurasian Collared Dove, I'm going to go with African Turtle Dove.  Escapee.  Anything else?

Wow.  European Starling.  Sweet bird, dude.  Did you cover your arms with birdseed or dumpster trash?  What else ya got.

OK, now we're talking! What is that, a White-tailed Hawk?  Some weird Red-tail morph?  Couple of corvids, probably American Crows, have joined the party, as has another starling and - lordie - is that a Eurasian Eagle-Owl?  Insane.  That's about all the birds that you could possib...

Ah a giant...thing?  What is that?  It looks like a vulture sorta but I can't really also looks like a Golden Eagle a little bit.  Either way, this guy is long dead.  And, get this, his wife is still looking at her computer!  Married life!!!!!


John B. said...

I think the giant bird in the last frame is an Old World vulture.

Emily said...

I must say I wouldn't expect to see a Muscovy in a petting zoo. Who would want to pet that carunculated head?

Amy said...

The giant birds looks like a Cinereous Vulture.

Anonymous said...

The hawk is an Augur Buzzard, basically the African Red Tailed Hawk. All the birds are non-native to the states, otherwise it would be a HUGE fine to Verizon and the bird handlers. And it is a cinereous vulture.

Thomas Venney said...


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