Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Breaking News


Hello everyone this is Brian Hinchletwist at CNN sorry to interrupt today's episode of "House Flipping Idiots" to bring you this breaking news: "Prothonotary Warbler" anagrams to "Noteworthy Bra Parlor." That's right, word just coming in from the AP confirms that "Prothonotary Warbler" anagrams into "Noteworthy Bra Parlor." Shocking stuff. To help us make sense of this news let us turn now to CNN International Affairs expert, Diana Brinklegin. Diana?

Thanks, Brian. This is most certainly a sad turn, but perhaps not so surprising considering last week's revelations that "Willow Ptarmigan" anagrams into "Wallowing Armpit" and that "Red-necked Phalarope" anagrams into "Henpecked Lard Opera." Still, this latest development marks a dark new chapter for NATO-backed forces already on the ground. Brian?

Thanks, Diana. And the story is still breaking. Just now a newsflash has come across my desk with new information. Apparently - and this is unconfirmed but coming from a trusted source - but apparently, "Gray-cheeked Thrush" anagrams to "Sketchy Hug Adherer." Unbelievable. Let's go live now to our own Charles Mittonsuit who is on the scene there at the bicycle factory. Charles can you hear me?

I can, Brian, thank you, and apologies again to those at home for interrupting your regularly-scheduled "Bride Punchers." Yes I am here at the bicycle factory and I just spoke to Duncan Thkkk, Senior Regional Spoke and Wheel Auditor, who has confirmed these latest developments, and also added a disturbing new fact: "Eastern Screech Owl" anagrams into "Encore Cartwheels." A bold assertion from the scene on the gr...

Charles, Charles I'm sorry but I am going to have to cut you off there, as I have just heard word from the White House that President Kaylee Addison Madison herself is taking to the airwaves to address the American people on today's news. Here we are live now at the White House, with the President.

My fellow Americans. I apologize for taking you away from your episode of "Let's Try To Eat It All," but these are important times. I am sure by now that you have heard the news that "Gunnison Sage Grouse" anagrams to "Guessing Onerousness" and that "Common Merganser" anagrams to "Cram Men or Gnomes." These, certainly, are trying times. But I urge us to remain calm and remember that we are Americans. We will get through this crisis, together. Thank you.

Sage words from the President, there. Stay tuned to CNN for additional developments, but this is Brian Hinchletwist signing off. Now let's return you to your local stations for the in-progress episode of "Hoarding Bride Renovation All-Stars."


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